♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ i wake up and i'm sober m [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: andy grammer, nice job! good job, my friend. welcome back. >> thank you. >> jay: good to see you. i want to thank my guests -- jennifer lawrence, phil and willie robertson and, of course, andy grammer. tomorrow night, lindsey lohan will be here. but jimmy fallon's happening right now! jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents --

tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. thank you so much for that. very nice. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. thank you for being here. it's gonna be a great show. here's what -- well, yeah. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

were you waiting for me to tell you who's on the show? is that what you're waiting for? [ light laughter ] we have zooey deschanel is on the show this evening. [ cheers and applause ] we have tony bennett on the show this evening. [ cheers and applause ] we have the zac brown band on the show this evening! [ cheers and applause ] that is a lot of show. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: a lot of talented musicians. hey guys, here's what people are talking about. this is very exciting. a company in mexico called grupo bimbo, may buy hostess brands and continue making twinkies and ding dongs. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] though i found it weird when the cnn headline read "bimbo makes grab for ding dongs." [ laughter ] i go, "whoa!" you know i don't read the stories. i just look at the headlines. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: you know that. hey, this is good news. i read that the price of gas has actually gone down in the last two weeks. just in time for the busiest travel day of the year. when people planning to visit their relatives heard that they were like, "yay. [ laughter ] that's cool.

real cool, dude." did you guys see this last night at the american music awards? did any of you guys watch this? [ cheers ] you get it on divo. [ light laughter ] last night at the american music awards, jenny mccarthy grabbed justin bieber and gave him a kiss on stage. >> steve: ew. >> jimmy: take a look at this. look how happy he is. [ laughter ] or as selena gomez put it, "is that supposed to be making me jealous?" [ laughter ] is that what's going on? check this out, guys. google has released a new map of space that includes the details of 100,000 stars. and this is cool. turns out they're just like us. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: all right. some entertainment news, this weekend the final "twilight" movie "breaking dawn: part 2" won the box office with $141 million.

>> steve: wow. >> jimmy: in fact, i think we have a photo of one of the vampires attacking someone from the movie. look at that. [ laughter ] isn't that nuts? >> jimmy: this was not good, you guys. yesterday iphone users had trouble sending texts for about five hours. it was a disaster. people had to actually call someone to lie about being five minutes away. [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: "i'm right there, man. be right there." [ light laughter ] some big news out of china. the chinese president has just appointed new officials to the chinese government, and apparently he chose some of the oldest leaders in the country's history. yep, he found them where you normally find old chinese, in the back of the fridge. [ audience ohs ] [ scattered applause ] right next to yoplait -- and an old open box of arm & hammer. yeah, yeah. right? >> steve: next to some crystal pepsi. >> jimmy: i don't remember ordering that. hmm. and, finally, a bakery in chicago has started selling doughnuts with liquor-flavored filling. [ cheers and applause ]

which explains why today cops were like, "you have the right -- [ laughter ] -- to be my best friend. [ laughter ] come on." we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a fantastic show tonight! she stars on the show "new girl," zooey deschanel is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: she's lovely as the day is long. >> jimmy: plus, he is the greatest. here to tell us about his new album, and his new book -- he's got a lot going on, mr. tony bennett is back on the show! [ cheers and applause ] and we'll have music from the grammy-award winning zac brown band! [ cheers and applause ] i cannot wait. tonight is gonna be awesome time. you just feel it in the air. it's a fun vibe. hey guys, thanksgiving is this week. [ turkey gobbles ] [ light laughter ] and i got a lot to be thankful for, like this show, my family,

my wife, my new puppy, gary. [ turkey gobbles ] but you know what i'm most thankful for? when i get my hands on a really great book. >> steve: oh, yes. >> jimmy: and i know what you're thinking, you're thinking, "mr. fallon, what about bad books?" i say, "you don't have to raise your hand, just ask me." [ light laughter ] "are you thankful for those?" i go, "no, i'm not." in fact, i don't think anyone should have to deal with a terrible book, which is why i'm about to show you some books that you should avoid in my latest installment of my "do not read list." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ do not read do not read do not read these books these books ♪ >> jimmy: now, before we start i just want you all to know that every book i'm about to show you is 100% real. these are actual books. you can see them on amazon, check them out at your local library. they are real books. all right, let's see what's on my "do not read list." this first one's a good one to start with because it's about pumpkins. >> steve: aw. yeah. >> jimmy: that's seasonal. this is "who peed on the pumpkin?" [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, come on!

what? >> jimmy: that's the title of the book. >> steve: it's a children's book? >> jimmy: "who peed on the pumpkin?" yeah, it's a kids book. [ light laughter ] "there was no accident. no, it was not a mistake. whoever peed on pumpkin aimed right for his face." [ laughter ] >> steve: what? is there anything before that? what's on the page before that? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it says, "pee got in his eyes. as it dripped off his head. somebody peed on the pumpkin, left him sticky and wet." [ audience groans ] [ laughter ] >> steve: sticky and wet? >> jimmy: this is not appropriate for children at all. [ light laughter ] but i'm kind of hooked. i want to see what's going down. [ light laughter ] >> steve: who peed on that pumpkin? >> jimmy: "who peed all over pumpkin, does anyone have a clue? who is this trickster? could it be you?" [ laughter ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: hey! don't drag me into this sick game. [ laughter ] well, this next book is really upbeat. this is a great one.

this is "nuclear war: what's in it for you?" [ laughter ] >> steve: oh my god. >> jimmy: that's a good beach read. i'm gonna save this one for the summer. >> steve: yeah, save that. [ light laughter ] get that for when you're feeling up. >> jimmy: this next one is a mystery novel. i love a good "who done it?" >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: this is called "we all killed grandma." [ laughter ] well, now we know who done it. this next book is for rebels, people who live on the edge. people who have no respect for authoritay. "knitting in the fast lane." [ laughter ] ♪ knitting in the fast lane ♪ let's see what -- that fast lane looks like -- right there. >> steve: that was fast. >> jimmy: looks kind of like -- >> steve: don't hang out with those kids. >> jimmy: let me see what these dudes look like. check out this dude here. oh. richard gere and liam neeson called. they had a baby and they made him wear a yarn vest. [ laughter ]

this guy's living in the fast lane, man. are you joking me? look, i don't think you can handle this, man. i live in the fast lane. >> steve: drive my car, right over here. >> jimmy: look at his jeans. his jeans match his vest. [ laughter ] perfect color. >> steve: dressing for the right. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] next up we have a -- this is a memoir. >> steve: oh, it's a memoir. >> jimmy: it's a memoir. >> steve: oh, good. >> jimmy: "every other inch a methodist" by douglas j. cock. [ laughter ] >> steve: "every inch a methodist." >> jimmy: no, every other. every other. >> steve: oh, every other inch. was written by doug cock. >> jimmy: do you know him -- douglas? i know him as douglas. >> steve: yeah, doug, i know just doug. we go way back. where'd he go to school? >> jimmy: douglas j. cock. >> steve: yeah, doug cock.

yeah, he was always around, doug cock. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: next one's a how-to book. they are always useful. this is "how to rip off a drug dealer" by rex feral. [ laughter ] this is a real book. about how to rip off a drug dealer. for real. but, here's the best part, the dedication, look at this. the dedication says, "to the men of courage who dare to take a chance. to tara lee, timothy ryan, and richard, and all those outlaws out there i dare not mention by name." what about tara lee and timothy ryan? [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: you just mentioned their names! >> steve: the escobar family just got a hold of those dudes. >> jimmy: "how to rip off a drug dealer." >> steve: do you know what's a good way to make money? >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: rip off a drug dealer. yeah. they're not well -- >> jimmy: oh, god. well, this one -- we're down to our last book here. >> steve: aw. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: this is from our friends across the pond. england, to be exact. >> audience: hey! >> jimmy: hey, very good. >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: you might have read this. "british tits" by christopher perrins.

[ laughter and applause ] that's all we have for this edition of my "do not read list." [ cheers and applause ] if you have a book you think should not be on the next "do not read list," i wanna see it. send your titles to our blog at latenightblog@nbc.com. we'll be right back with "night news now." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] good news: men use soap. bad news; men use soap that can really dry their skin.

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>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. and thank yoso much for watching our show. now it is time to take a look at the news of the now, the news of today, and the news of the now. it's time for "night news now." [ cheers and applause ] tonight, justin timberlake reacts to being told the easter bunny is fake. >> no, he's not. >> taylor swift says -- [ clears throat ] [ clears throat ] >> and morgan freeman talks about his brief stint as a male gigolo. >> if you hired me to do it. i'll do it. thank you very much. >> it's time for "night news now." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. let's see what's happening. president barack obama recently held a press conference where he spoke about many important issues. here's a clip of some of the moments just before he spoke about the issues. [ light laughter ]

[ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: in archeological news, a rare stegosaurus bone was found just outside of flagstaff, arizona, this week. our "night news now" artists were hard at work putting together this 3-d model rendering of what they suspect this beautiful creature would look like today. [ laughter ] majestic. in movie news, the steven spielberg biopic, "lincoln," hit theaters nationwide this past friday. so here for his review of the film is our resident movie reviewer, jeff effner. jeff? >> thank you, jimmy. this was a great movie. "lincoln" tells the story of a family that goes down to florida for christmas vacation. but, here's the catch. they accidentally leave their 8-year-old son home alone. now, this kid's having the time of his life. he's jumping on the bed. some robbers try to break in the house, but he thwarts their plans with some clever booby traps. [ laughter ] there's a great scene where a young abraham lincoln puts aftershave on his face and goes, "ahh!"

it's a great movie for the whole family. overall, i give "lincoln" four out of five stars, and i'm looking forward to the sequel where abraham gets lost in new york. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, jeff. [ cheers and applause ] well, diehard fans of the british boy band one direction lined up for a free concert last week here in new york city. so we sent down a correspondent to get their thoughts on the current political climate. >> what would you do if speaker of the house john boehner were here right now? [ screams ] >> what are the things you remember most about mitt romney from the election? >> his hair. >> his hair. >> his curly hair. >> oh, his personality. >> and his heart. >> and his voice. >> his voice. oh, yeah. >> oh, yeah. >> the transcripts for some of mitt romney's speeches are circulating right now. what if i told you you could read one? >> oh, yeah. >> i would so do it. >> i would jump at the opportunity. >> now that the election's over and ron paul is out of the picture, is there anything you want to say to him? >> thanks for being amazing. we love you.

and you've taught us all so much. >> some people are speculating that john kerry might be the new secretary of state. would you be for or against that? >> oh! >> oh, my god! >> i would pass out! >> i would pass out! >> in your opinion, what makes barack obama a good leader? >> i like that he takes a more diplomatic approach to foreign affairs. [ applause ] >> jimmy: also in politics, people are talking about the fiscal cliff that's coming up, and now experts are saying that the fiscal cliff may collide with the debt ceiling. for more on the issue, let's check in with our top economic correspondent, tom duncan. tom? >> thank you, jimmy. if negotiations don't move quickly, the fiscal cliff could indeed collide with the debt ceiling. and that means rough times for the middle class, especially if it happens before the financial closet closes. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: financial closet? >> exactly, jimmy.

now, that's supposed to coincide with the deficit canyon and the money ridge, which is great. nobody wants a credit nook. but if congress doesn't approve a new spending basement before the cash island sinks into the budget pond, the surplus foyer may crash into the commerce pile. back to you, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you, tom. [ applause ] and now turning to sports. >> one of the better defenders in the country. had 19 points and 8 rebounds. [ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: and now turning away from sports. okay, it's time for the jackpot number-balls lottery. let's go to our lottery correspondent, tony smint. tony? >> thank you, jimmy. here are tonight's winning numbers. the first number is -- aahh! aahh! >> jimmy: thank you, tony. folks, i'm joined by world traveler conner sills, who spent

seven months traveling the globe and immersing himself in remote parts of asia, africa and europe. with nothing more than a backpack, pad of paper and the excitement of discovering the unknown, he documented his travels for "around the world with conner sills." conner, welcome back. >> thank you, jimmy. it was an incredible journey. >> jimmy: i'd love to hear about it some time. [ laughter ] [ applause ] now, as with any news source, we don't always get everything right, so it's time for retractions -- the portion of "night news now" where i go over corrections from previous broadcasts. first up, we reported that nautical explorer charles cambridge was born in the year 1998. it was actually 1322. [ laughter ] our mistake. we also reported that john boehner gave a speech to congress, but it wasn't john boehner. it was just a pair of goggles. and they didn't give a speech. someone just put them on. again, that was an error on our part. and finally, two weeks ago, we

reported that mitt romney won the presidential election. it wasn't mitt romney. it was someone else. we apologize. those are tonight's retractions. moving on to other news -- oh, folks, this is big. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and finally, hillary clinton is stepping down from her position as secretary of state. while we don't know how this will affect her potential 2016 presidential bid, we do know that this is what she would look like if her face were turned upside down. >> i think the president has done an excellent job under the most difficult circumstances. [ laughs ] ♪ >> jimmy: that was night news now. stick around, we'll be right back with zooey deschanel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ woooah, what do you got there?

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is the emmy and golden globe-nominated star of the hit fox show, "new girl," which airs tuesdays at 9:00 p.m. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome zooey deschanel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: zooey. >> that was a pretty sweet song. >> jimmy: it was very nice, right?

that was the theme to "that girl." yeah, see what we did there? >> so cool. yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what's going on with the fingernail sitch? >> i got nothing. >> jimmy: what? >> i don't -- well -- >> jimmy: last time i saw you, you had, like, little tuxedos. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah. not now. >> jimmy: no. >> it takes a long time to get that kind of nail art. so that -- i save it for holidays. >> jimmy: special occasions. >> special occasions. so, i'm looking forward to the christmas holiday. >> jimmy: oh, really? can you say what it's going to be? >> i don't know this year. >> jimmy: is it ten -- will it be ten of something? >> well, it could be ten of something. or it could be, you know, different designs on every which nail, you know? >> jimmy: maybe "10 days of christmas." just pick out of the 12 your 10 favorite things. >> oh! or my ten favorite days. yeah, yeah, yeah. cut out the lords a-leaping. >> jimmy: lords a-leaping. i mean, please. >> forget about them. >> jimmy: who even wants that, anyway? >> not interested. >> jimmy: imagine if i got you that for christmas. hello, please? >> lords a-leaping, no. no, not into it. not into that, no. >> jimmy: maids milking? i guess? >> yeah, no, i'll cut out lords leaping and maids a-milking.

>> jimmy: partridge in a pear tree is great. >> yep. great. >> jimmy: if you got space for it. >> amazing. partridge in a pear tree. >> jimmy: uh, hello? >> star. >> jimmy: yeah, hello? >> it's all working up to that. >> jimmy: yeah, it is, right? >> yeah. the first line -- >> jimmy: five golden rings. >> such a star. >> jimmy: right? >> yep, big star. >> jimmy: big star for that one. >> big star. i mean, like, starring -- >> jimmy: like, clay aiken's going to be a star. >> not closing. yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: a big star. >> opening stays open for a very long run. >> jimmy: big opening night. it's the opening night. this is the whole -- for the whole run. >> yeah, forever. forget about the other ones. >> jimmy: forget about the other ones, yeah. >> but last christmas, i had two very cool nail arts. what do i call them? >> jimmy: pieces -- masterpieces that -- >> pieces of art. >> jimmy: -- hang on your nail. >> one was like, a christmas sweater one. and the other one was -- i had the beatles' "help" record painted on my nails. >> jimmy: i just thought that this was very good. i mean, that's pretty awesome right there.

that's pretty cool. i love that one. that's a cute one. [ applause ] i love the beatles' "help." >> yeah, it took a very long time 'cause the people were painting -- i had two gals painting my nails. and they didn't know who the beatles were. >> jimmy: no? >> or what font was or what -- they didn't know the record. >> jimmy: so they thought it was just a cry for help. >> yeah, they just sat there like -- hello? >> jimmy: girl's asking for help. something's going on. how's everything at home? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. the thumb, you can't see, is an exclamation point. of course. >> jimmy: yeah. of course you have to have that. you had a big year. congratulations on every single thing. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: i think i saw you at the emmys. you got nominated for an emmy. golden globes. but then you got a grammy nom for songwriting. >> i did, yes. >> jimmy: you're a very talented person. [ cheers and applause ] you do a lot of fun things. i love your voice. >> thank you. >> jimmy: do you remember the first song you ever wrote? >> i do. the first song i ever wrote was a very complex song. it was called "my name is zooey deschanel." >> jimmy: oh, very good. and how old were you? >> i was six. >> jimmy: "my name is

zooey deschanel." >> yeah, the lyrics were just, "my name is zooey deschanel." zooey deschanel. zooey deschanel. >> jimmy: zooey deschanel, yeah. ♪ my name is zooey deschanel my fair lady ♪ >> no, there's no -- no my fair lady. >> jimmy: you didn't sample that at all? >> no, no, no. but, i mean, that would have been -- >> jimmy: yeah, how did it end? >> that would have ruined it. yeah, yeah. it's a round, you know. >> jimmy: it's a round. it's like "row, row, row your boat." >> yeah, yeah. it just keeps repeating. so, that was the first one. >> jimmy: yeah, that was a good one. >> um, it's still going on in my mind. running. convoluted. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. well, it sticks up there. >> 'cause that is my name, so -- >> jimmy: yeah, true. >> and then the second song i wrote -- that one was an a cappella song that was to be sung -- >> jimmy: sans -- sans music. >> with accompaniment. yeah, exactly. [ light laughter ] and then the second song i wrote was a jaunty little number. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was -- it had a piano accompaniment. >> jimmy: okay. >> it was also very long. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yes. it was called "i'm having fun at the fair."

it was a gay '90s theme. and by gay '90s, i mean 1890s. >> jimmy: of course. yes, yes. >> so, it had so many lyrics that i needed four pieces of poster board to write them all out. >> jimmy: how old were you here? >> i think i was about 8 or 9. >> jimmy: yeah. four poster boards. do you remember how it went at all? having -- >> it was -- i'm having fun at the fair. i'm hoping that you'll be there. this is the chorus. >> jimmy: it's not the bridge. this is the chorus. >> yeah, this is the chorus. >> jimmy: this is the one that we would recognize it from. >> yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] exactly. if i were to give you the lyrics from one of the verses, no one would know what i was talking about. >> jimmy: no, yeah, exactly. that's good. you're hoping they would be there. did you go to fairs very often, or no? you just thought it'd look -- >> no, i just wished that i was going to fairs. so i wrote a song about it. >> jimmy: yeah, very smart. very creative little kid. >> only write about what you don't know. that's the best advice that i've gotten.

>> jimmy: really awesome advice. bet you thought i was going to say awful, but i meant awesome advice. >> can i ask you a question? a non-sequitur? >> jimmy: sure. >> do you have a dog named gary? >> jimmy: yeah, i do. >> really? that's cool. >> jimmy: yeah, why? >> just wondering. i don't know. i saw it earlier. >> jimmy: did you hear something? yeah. >> no, no. i saw it earlier when i was watching the show and -- >> jimmy: yeah, a beautiful dog named gary. she's a golden retriever. >> so it's a she? >> jimmy: yes, it is she. yeah. [ light laughter ] >> that's cool. i just wanted to know. >> jimmy: yeah, no problem. [ laughter ] i want to talk "new girl." >> okay, yeah. let's talk about it. >> jimmy: i'm very excited about this. thanksgiving episode tomorrow -- >> yes. >> jimmy: -- with some of my favorite people ever. special guest stars. big show tomorrow. >> rob reiner. >> jimmy: rob reiner. i love rob reiner. >> me, too! [ applause ] >> jimmy: marty dibergi. meathead. >> oh, man. >> jimmy: marty dibergi. the guy's genius. >> yep, he's amazing. >> jimmy: no, he's a funny dude. >> and then jamie lee curtis. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. [ applause ] that's all -- that's all i need right there. >> -- are playing my parents. but bonus, rob riggle is also on the show playing schmidt's cousin. so we have, like, an amazing group of people for the thanksgiving episode. >> jimmy: we have a clip of the show. of "new girl," this airs tomorrow. so imagine this, but 22 minutes

long. >> yeah. >> jimmy: here's zooey deschanel in tomorrow night's thanksgiving episode of "new girl." take a look. >> the trap has been set. >> is it working? >> croce make my mom frisky. check it out. >> oh, croce makes me frisky, too. >> really? go hit on her. >> what? >> my dad gets super jealous. so, if you go lay some smooth game on her -- >> go hit on your mother? >> i was gonna make schmidt do it, but -- >> no, no, i can't hit on -- >> hey, mom. mom, nick was just saying that your deco l'etage looks bewitching in that dress. right, nick? >> thank you. >> jimmy: yeah, come on. [ cheers and applause ] jamie lee curtis is awesome. and rob reiner? >> awesome. rob reiner. >> jimmy: they're two of my favorites. >> yeah. >> jimmy: more with zooey deschanel when we get back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i am hanging out with zooey deschanel. zooey, you are hilarious in "new girl." >> thank you. >> jimmy: very, very funny. but what many people might not know is that you have a very,

very dramatic side as well. >> i do. >> jimmy: you do. >> i love acting in drama. >> jimmy: yeah, now, personally, my favorite part of the drama is when a character dramatically turns around. >> right. >> jimmy: you know? they take off their glasses. >> that's my favorite part, too. >> jimmy: and they deliver a line of dialogue. >> yep. >> jimmy: so if you're up for that, i thought i'd challenge you to a "dramatic turn and speak." >> i think that sounds great. >> jimmy: all right, here's how it's gonna work. we'll each start by saying the same line to each other. something like, "that very well may be, but --" and then we're gonna look to the camera, take off our glasses -- there, i got you a pair of glasses. >> thank you. i love them. >> jimmy: we'll take the glasses off. [ laughter ] and then -- and then we'll take off our glasses, and we will say the line on the cue card as dramatically and intensely as we can. >> okay. >> jimmy: now, here's the catch. neither of us have seen any of the lines on these cue cards. we will be seeing them for the first time when we spin around. does that sound good? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay, i'll do the

first one. so i start here, and then i go to this one? all right. well -- >> am i allowed to look over there? >> jimmy: you can look wherever you like. that very well may be, but -- [ dramatic music ] ♪ my business card says professional nude juggler. [ laughter and applause ] >> yeah. that very well may be, but -- [ dramatic music ] ♪ when you in my house, you gettin' pancakes. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: gettin' pancakes? >> yeah. you heard what i said. >> jimmy: well, that very -- >> when you in my house -- >> jimmy: you gettin' pancakes. that very well may be, but -- [ dramatic music ] ♪ fire up the grill, 'cause papa's gonna smoke some wild, wild salmon. [ laughter ]

>> that very well may be, but -- [ dramatic music ] ♪ i'm the one with the -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just read it. >> hold on. >> jimmy: wait, wait. do it again. what was it? >> i'm the one with the fanny pack full of tamagoochis, bitch. [ applause ] >> jimmy: what? what? those little giga pet things? yeah. >> i can't even begin to understand. >> jimmy: tamagotchis, yeah. >> tamagotchis. >> jimmy: whatever the case, that very well may be, but -- [ dramatic music ] ♪ [ laughter ] i'm a spunky little piggy who says oinky oink oink. [ laughter and applause ]

>> okay. your writers are just having themselves a little bit of fun here. that very well may be, but -- [ dramatic music ] ♪ me no workey unless -- [ laughter ] me no workey unless you get me some turkey. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was an intense "dramatic turn and speak." i think you are the winner. [ applause ] hey, i'll tell you what, we're all the winners. before you go, zooey wanted to kick off the holiday season early by giving away a copy of her album, "a very she & him christmas." [ cheers and applause ] everyone gets one! you get one! and you get one! and you get one! the great zooey deschanel, everyone! "new girl" airs tuesdays at 9:00 p.m. on fox. we'll be right back with tony bennett. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] today...is the day

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest, is a 17-time grammy award winner. and at 86 years of age, he's busy as anyone in the industry.

a documentary about him entitled "the zen of bennett" is in select theaters now and also available on netflix. his latest album, "viva duets," is currently in stores. and his new book, "life is a gift: the zen of bennett," will be released tomorrow, november 20th. please welcome back to our show mr. tony bennett. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ going down to the barnyard we're gonna have a good time going down to the barnyard ♪ ♪ we're gonna have a good time, going down to the barnyard, we're gonna have a good time ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: mr. tony bennett. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back to see us. we always love having you here. >> my pleasure. >> jimmy: "viva duets," this is a multilingual cd. a bunch of languages going on. do you know any other languages? >> no. >> jimmy: no. perfect. [ laughter ] that's what makes it perfect. >> my son came up with the duets

album, and they sold into the millions. and this one is fascinating for me because i'm singing the hit songs i've had through the years, and then the interpretation in spanish, all the most famous latino singers of the world are in this album. >> jimmy: you have marc anthony -- christina aguilera, by the way -- >> great. >> jimmy: -- she was just here last week. powerful voice. >> isn't she powerful? >> jimmy: i mean, unbelievable. she sings -- >> first time i heard her, i couldn't believe it. >> jimmy: things were like, shaking on the desk. she's like -- [ imitating christina singing ] and i was like, "oh, man, oh, man." i shouldn't be in the room right now. she is so powerful. she's great. you always have a lot of good guests. i remember -- was it last year when you sang the duet with lady gaga? >> right. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] "lady is a tramp." and you ended up -- you sketched lady gaga. >> right. >> jimmy: how does this happen? [ light laughter ] wait what -- ♪

♪ near, far wherever --♪ look at that. that's lady gaga. >> that's right. >> jimmy: how did you end up just sketching her without any clothes on? >> well, annie leibovitz is a great photographer, you know? >> jimmy: i know. >> she's the best one in america. and she came up with this idea for the magazine. >> jimmy: wow. and this actually went on for like, a charity and sold for $46,000 to lady gaga's -- some of her charities. >> right. >> jimmy: good for you. >> thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: gosh, you're always doing something different, something good. [ applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: i've seen some of your sketches, benedetto. >> that's my family name. >> jimmy: that's your family name. >> do you know what it means? >> jimmy: no. >> the blessed one. >> jimmy: is that right? >> in italian, that's the definition of benedetto. >> jimmy: do you have brothers and sisters? >> oh, yeah. they're gone now. my brothers and sister. but they were beautiful people. >> jimmy: when you were growing up, did you say, "hey, i'm the one, i'm the blessed one"? [ light laughter ] just to make them mad? >> no, no. they were good people.

>> jimmy: bob hope is the one who gave you your name kind of, right? >> right. he's the one. >> jimmy: what'd he say? 'cause he said, "anthony benedetto." >> well, he said, "what's your name?" and i said, "it's joe bari." he said, "bari is a city in italy. that's a phony show business name." now, come on, what's your real name?" i said, "anthony dominick benedetto." and he said, "well, let's economize that and call you tony bennett." bob hope gave me my name, tony bennett. >> jimmy: is that right? [ applause ] now, you have a lot of great stories, obviously. but in here "life is a gift," this is kind of -- "the zen of bennett," this is your life -- >> you know, this is about -- i'm communicating in this book to the young folks. >> jimmy: yeah. >> because there's so many performers when they first start, they want that instant fame. and it's one of the tragic things that happen to a lot of young performers, because they invest a lot of money and all that. and then for about 13 weeks, or

23 weeks, they're very famous. but then it drops and they're forgotten. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and they're left bankrupt. it's tragic. you have to think, if you're gonna be a performer, this book teaches you to study in good schools and get a good education about how to perform properly, so that you have longevity. so then you're not just a quick act that's gonna be famous and forgotten. >> jimmy: tony is the man who knows it. >> -- long term, it becomes good. >> jimmy: a couple of the things like, you have nice little things in the chapters. it will just highlight different things that you say -- >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: "zen of bennett," things like, let's see. i can just pick one randomly. "don't imitate another person because then you'll just be one of the chorus." >> right, just be yourself. >> jimmy: i made a living off of that, unfortunately. [ laughter ] >> be yourself. you're just different than anybody. >> jimmy: yeah. i know what you're saying. there's another one i liked

here. gosh, there was -- there's so many great ones. >> zooey: do you ever call it the "zennett?" you know, "the zen of bennett?" >> jimmy: you could probably trademark that, yeah. in fact, i'm gonna get my lawyers on that right now. i will lease it to you for a fee. if he wants to use "the zennett." [ light laughter ] i like the last thing is "i've never worked a day in my life." >> right. >> jimmy: and like you said, "if you follow your passions you will never work a day in your life." >> that's true. i love to sing and paint, and i'm getting away with it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we love you. you can come sing and paint on our show whenever you want to. [ cheers and applause ] the book is in stores tomorrow! real legend right there, mr. tony bennett! you've got to love him. oh, my goodness. zac brown band performs next. see you after the break. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are one of the most popular country groups to emerge in the past few years. they just sold out madison square garden right here in new york. [ cheers and applause ] and tonight, they're here to perform the song "goodbye in her eyes," from their latest album "uncaged." please welcome zac brown band! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i could tell that it was over when her lips met mine ♪ ♪ was an emptiness in her voice hesitation when she smiled ♪

♪ she didn't have to say a word it was just so plain to see ♪ ♪ she had found what she'd been looking for and i knew it wasn't me ♪ ♪ i saw goodbye in her eyes i don't think i can change it there's no way to disguise we will never make it ♪ ♪ ♪ sometimes i feel like a clown that can't wash off his make-up ♪

♪ the life she wanted it was gone prince charming i wasn't ♪ ♪ but i would trade a thousand babylons to be in her arms tomorrow ♪ ♪ oh but like the tide her love has come and gone and it's time for me to go ♪ ♪ i saw goodbye in her eyes i don't think i can change it there's no way to disguise we will never make it ♪ ♪ now she sees right through me should i hold on

to what we've got ♪ ♪ hold on is it just a waste of time one thing that i know for sure ♪ ♪ i saw goodbye in her eyes i saw goodbye in her eyes i know you got somebody new now ♪ ♪ all my candles have burned out he's gonna love the way you shine ♪ ♪ so did i so don't smile at me if it ain't what you mean goodbye ♪ ♪ with that goodbye in your eyes

i know that i can't change it now you see ♪ ♪ right through me there's no way to disguise we will never make it goodbye in your eyes ♪ ♪ should i hold on is it just a waste of time the one thing that i know for sure ♪ ♪ i saw goodbye in your eyes i saw goodbye in your eyes i know that it's over ♪ [ cheers and applause ]